How to stand up to mean girls (the ‘self’ edition)

girls are mean (sometimes) print by corid

Image credit: Girls are mean (sometimes) print by CoriD

Mean girls.

You know the ones I’m talking about, right?
The girls who made fun of your favorite shoes in 6th grade, and mocked your attempt at the coveted waterfall bang? Snickered in gym class ‘Gawd, she’s awful’ or put down your ‘weird’ clothes? The same girls who gawked at your supposed uncoolness and belittled your every attempt to just be your perfect self?
Yeah. Those are the girls I’m talking about.

At some point or another you were able to tune them out or put them in their place. You grew past them and into a space where you found other little bees to romp with.
But every once in a while, a mean girl shows up—and hot damn is she hard to shake. She’s harsh, cold, and downright nasty. She’s a menace to your psyche and a destroyer of your worth. She pushes trash over truth.
She’s you.

Can I tell you a story?
Three months ago I sat down and made a list of blogs I wanted to guest post for. These were blogs of creative women I admired and who inspired me to keep moving forward in my business every day. Oh My! Handmade was on that list for sure. As I started thinking of ideas and crafting a little note for Jessika, a certain mean girl I’m rather acquainted with whispered in my ear:
“Seriously, Tiffany? She’s major. Who do you think you are? You can’t do this.”

And despite what I know about myself (heck yeah, I’m an awesome writer!) and Jessika (nurturing mama of the creative universe) I believed the trash in my head over the truth and stopped. Then one day Jessika retweeted one of my blog posts and asked me to submit to Oh My!

It’s easy to get distracted by the ‘am I good enough?’, ‘what if nobody likes what I’ve got,’ or ‘I can’t do this’ in your head. But when you stop listening to your inner mean girl, you allow wonderful and exciting things to happen in your life and business.

Here are 3 ways to pull your inner mean girl’s hair when she pulls yours. (You’ll pull a lot harder and it will shut her right up.)

1. List 30 things you love about yourself—a list of 30 might seem like a lot, but it’s a long list for a reason. It can be hard to come up with so many things in one sitting, so you’re forced to think on it for a while. It’s hard to be negative when your task for the day is thinking about all the ways you’re fantastic.

2. (self) Love notes— Leave them for yourself. Stick them to the fridge, in your wallet, on your computer—any place you look at often. My favorite place? The bathroom mirror. That way, a sweet note about how awesome I am tells me goodnight as I’m brushing my teeth, and greets me in the morning.

3. Encourage someone else—The best way to be encouraged is to encourage. I can’t tell you how much a simple retweet of one of my posts or a comment makes my day, and I know it does the same for others. When you become your worst mean girl, share some love to a brand new entrepreneur on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment on their blog. Share love wherever you can, and watch it come right back to you.

How do you deal with your inner mean girl?

Meet Tiffany!

Tiffany Clarke Harrison is a copywriter for women entrepreneurs turning their creative hobbies into creative businesses.  She is an entrepreneur, husband & toddler wrangler, and author of the book Read All Over: the Creative Girl’s Guide to Writing for her Business Website.  You can say hello at blahcubed.org, @blah_cubed on twitter, or facebook.