by Meagan Visser of MeaganVisser.com

{because of you i am complete illustration by freyaart}

When I was 5, my Dad was going to take me fishing. At that point, it was the biggest, most important day of my little life. My mom made sure I was ready. I had my hat, a new Minnie Mouse fishing pole, & she helped me make lunch for my special day out with Dad.
When I was 12, I was having a pool party for my birthday & I got to invite a lot of friends from school. My birthday is on December 24, so having a pool party in the middle of summer was a big deal. I would have said it was the most important day of my life at that point. 2 birthday celebrations in one year…what kid wouldn’t love that! So my mom saved up money for the big day. We bought decorations, picked out food & a cake, sent out invitations, & I got a new bathing suit.

When I was 16, I got my driver’s license. It was the most important day of my teenage life & meant that I had a little more independence & freedom. My mom helped me prepare. She helped teach me to drive, she took me to get my license, she cheered me on & yes, she helped to convince my dad that I really did need that nice, sporty car I had my eye on. {Thank you mom!}

When I was 18, I was graduating high school & going to prom. It was the most important day of my life. Everything had to be perfect! I had to have the perfect dress, the perfect shoes, my makeup & hair had to be professionally done, we needed a sweet ride & we had to have something fun & memorable to do after prom. It was a big deal. My mom again saved up to buy me that perfect dress & to pay for my makeup & hair, & she helped to convince my dad that prom is a rite of passage for a senior & that I didn’t need a curfew that night. {Again, thanks mom!}

When I was 22, I graduated from college. It was the most important day of my life. I had worked hard through school & was now ready & prepared to enter the workforce as a mature adult & make some money honey! My mom worked hard to make sure I had what I needed while I was in college. She furnished my apartment, encouraged me in my studies, helped me through “crisis” moments, & let me learn some tough life lessons on my own while always providing a listening ear & a shoulder to cry on.

Later that year, at 22, I got married. It was the most important day of my life. I thought prom had to be perfect. Ha! This was my wedding day…the day that most little girls dream about. It was here & it had to be just so. My parents were generous to me with the wedding budget, my mom helped me through every step of the planning process {even when I was being bridezilla}, took me to all my appointments, did all the decorating & clean up, & was as proud as could be of her daughter & new son-in-law on our very special day.

When I was 24, I had my first baby. It was the most important day of my life. I was so excited & so scared at the same time. Everything was going to go smoothly & according to plan. I told my mom I wanted a homebirth. She wasn’t so sure, but she didn’t argue with me. She supported my decision. Then after 28 hours of labor at home & no progress {stinking first babies}, I opted for the hospital & drugs!!! My mom drove me there while I was being SO grouchy from the pain, helped to make me comfortable & get me anything I needed throughout the rest of my labor, & held one hand while my husband held the other during delivery. She cried with me when my beautiful son, Judah, was born & she helped me out a lot during those first two weeks at home. I’m not sure what happened to my plan?

Now I could go on & on about all the ways my mom made little moments in my life special. About how she sacrificed her time, buying nice, new clothes & driving a fancy car so that I could have things that she & my dad never had growing up. I could talk about how she wanted me to enjoy my childhood & to make great, lasting memories to look back on. And about how the most important days of my life, where also the most important days of her life as well because she was investing everything into me, her daughter. She sacrificed for me over & over so that I could have my special memories. I didn’t realize it then. I was living in the moment & I wasn’t looking at life from her perspective.

Now my son, Judah, is turning 3 tomorrow & he’s just now realizing what a birthday actually is. He’s excited about it. He understands that it’s his special day. We’re celebrating what a wonderful little boy he is, making him a Blue’s Clues cake, & opening presents. Tomorrow is the most important day of his life. And you know what? It’s now, the most important day of mine too.

I want the same things for my children that my parents wanted for me. A fun, happy childhood full of most important days to look back on & cherish. I now see life more so from my mom’s perspective & I’m so thankful & grateful that I was blessed with such wonderful, loving parents that made life great for me. I hope I can be as great of a mom as my mom was & is today!