Note – My original post for this month dealt with my forte of web design but after speaking a little bit with Jessika via email, I decided to go in a different direction entirely. It seems a lot of us in our community are dealing with crazy and sometimes devastating issues in our personal life and I wanted you to know that you are not alone.
beautiful necklace from lulu bug jewelry
Trying to run a business is hard enough without all of the trials and tribulations of life thrown on top of it. We all have to deal with things we don’t expect…some by choice and others not. Some scary, some sad and some just plain life altering.
Mine is a story of an ending…the ending of a marriage and all of our lives being turned upside down. Before I get too far into my story and the sympathy starts (so not why I am writing this just so you know), it was my decision, one that was years in the making and it didn’t come lightly by any means. No matter who initiates these type of life changes, they are never easy. Pile a business on top of all of this and it’s down right debilitating some days.
When you have a “real job” (don’t you hate it when people say that!) you can take a few personal days and then try to sort out your life and move forward at least enough to perform your job — then go home and break down out of eye shot of anyone. When you own your own business, there are no personal days…there is usually no outside office, no escape from what you are going through. As hard as you try, things get missed, emails get postponed, people get upset and not only is your personal life now in complete turmoil but your business is following a close second! What is so scary about this is that most of the time, it is your only financial foundation and when that suffers everything else tends to. I am not of the idea that money is everything but it is kinda important in the scheme of life! 😉
So how do you pick up the pieces and try to move forward and overcome? Honestly, if I had a simple answer, I probably wouldn’t even have bothered to write this. I am here to tell you that no matter what, it is possible…it has to be. As women, we are inherently strong and tend to be able endure the most difficult situations, granted with a few tears and crazy breakdowns along the way (oh wait, is that just me?).
Creating a group of supportive people who can help you out when times get tough is my number one suggestion. Even though I am fairly new to my particular situation, having supportive people around me has been my saving grace. I am naturally an introvert and kinda embarrassed to say I don’t have a bunch of girl friends around so my family is who I depend on the most. From my parents (who I now live with again at the age of 35) to my awesome sister (who I am just now getting to really know) these are the people that are in my corner no matter what. I am also so thankful to have wonderful peeps working for me at Moxie Pear and even though they were affected by the situation too (disbanding our central office and each of us now working from home), they have picked up my slack during the crazy days, understood when I was late to yet another meeting and just been there to hear me vent.
Not being a very spiritual person, I have also started to truly search for my faith, which I hope will give me strength to take on whatever else life decides to throw at me. This is a journey that I haven’t been on for some time and I am given hope from just reading about other people’s struggles and how their faith has helped them overcome.
So here it is, no matter what life throws at you…you can get through it! It probably won’t be easy but have people around you that you can depend on and it will become bearable (most days at least). Jessika and I spoke briefly about our community here at OMHG and I am looking forward to having a place where we can all support each other not only in business but in this crazy thing we call life. I know I look forward to building my connections and support with all of your awesome women out there who may be in a similar situation as me!
I want to be the first one to comment, shake my pom-poms for your bravery and thank you for sharing this with us Lisa! Even though these experiences of loss, transition, endings and change are what makes us human & we can all relate to it is still so hard to step out and share what we are struggling with. I am so thankful you feel safe enough here to let us inside your business and life! One of the things so many entrepreneurs struggle with is having to be our own lifeline and try to keep all the balls in the air even when all the air has been sucked out of our lungs. I truly believe that the more we are truly seen-sad, hard, complicated bits and all the more we can access the support we need to push forward and out through the other side. I am not a religious person but I am deeply spiritual and believe above all in the magic that happens when we come together to share in this crazy human experience-hard bits and all. I love you and am hugging you tightly!
Just wow. Open, honest and sincere. You may not realize it now, but knowing how to move forward is one of the greatest acts of courage we can take. I may be one of the lone gent in this fab neighborhood, but there are no strong men without outstanding women. You, my friend: OUTSTANDING!
Lisa, you are so wise to reach out and accept help. Before I was diagnosed with cancer 13 years ago, I was not one to rely on others. Cancer taught me this lesson many times over and now I know without a doubt that when I allow myself to ask for, and receive, help from my loved ones, it is a gift for them as much as it is for me. People feel helpless when they see their loved ones struggling so to be given the opportunity to take action in some way is a huge relief for them. I have a lot to learn about life still, but this I know deep in my bones.
It’s a journey. It’s a process. I’m a “work in progress” 🙂 All things I like to say about my life. Nice to hear another strong woman share a chapter in her story. Thank you Lisa. *hugs*
Thank you so much for sharing your story, Lisa. I know that took a lot of courage. I think almost all of us can relate in some form or another, but we don’t always have the courage to share our story with others. The thing is, your story empowers all of us, so a big thanks for that! We all encounter big challenges in life and it sure is helpful when you have a group of people who can relate and be there for support. You have that here with us 🙂
Thank you for sharing your story, i to am not a person that will ask for help or rely on anyone, i realised the extent of this when my son was first born i found it really hard to ask for help or accept help even though i badly need alot of help. I will always run myself ragged rather than seek help. I think close family like parents and siblings are the best people to turn to first when in need of help, because they will have your best interests at heart. Life is all about learning and things never stay the same for to long. Good luck on your journey 🙂
Thank you so much Lisa, for sharing, and for reminding us that we are all vulnerable and that’s how it should be. We all struggle at times, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of – it’s just really really hard when you’re trying to run a home-based business too. My experience here and at story of mum is that sharing our vulnerability makes us stronger, asking for help (I REALLY struggle with that too) gives others the gift of being able to help us, and simply being seen and heard as we struggle can be an incredibly healing experience. Thank you for your bravery and honesty, and thank you to the oh my handmade community for being a place where we can all be brave honest and vulnerable when we need to. xxx
Sending peace and strength your way Lisa. I’ve been through it, too and it was my decision. I was struck by how others perceived my divorce, especially sine I initiated, it. Lots of people seemed to think it wouldn’t be traumatic or I wouldn’t be conflicted since I was the one who walked away. But I certainly felt traumatized and conflicted. Your bravery will see you through and you’ll find a new “normal” and blaze a new path. I’ll be cheering you on every step of that way. I’m really excited to meet you next month… the first cocktail is on me! 🙂
A powerful post, Lisa. Thank you for sharing your intensely personal & profound experiences. From one of my favorite books of all time by Kahlil Gibrahn “The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine, the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?” and “Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.” I have meditated on these passages many times as I struggled through my own personal pain. You will come out the other side enlightened, and strong in the self-knowledge that yes, you can deal with anything. I say this from experience. I do believe spiritual faith can sustain us in our darkest hour. Sending you blessings. Brighter days are ahead, darling.
Sharing your story + asking for support both take guts – but to do it publicly…? (If you ever doubt your strength, just reread your post.) As an introvert myself, I know how hard that can be – and I am sending you a really big hug, high-five, and salute from PA. Wishing you all the best on your journey, Lisa! 🙂
Lisa, thanks so much for sharing and being so candid. Please know that you have a cheerleader here – and I am “right down the road” if you need me. Hoping we can connect in the coming year.
Lisa, first of all thank you for sharing your story. I am an introvert as well, and the thought of opening up and sharing my deepest feelings is a scary {very scary} thought; for this, I admire you. I have found that talking about my problems/concerns with loved ones always leaves me with some kind of peace that helps me push through. Letting all those feelings out can be so liberating! I applaude your courage and strong will to keep on…admirable!! I hope that this passes soon, I know it will! You are a strong woman, and it shows! This quote came to mind: “Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny” -C.S. Lewis-
I am so moved by this post Lisa. Stepping back to move ahead. I have done this many times. You are leaning in to where you right now and you are just where you are supposed to be…here with us. And your family and friends who love you so. xoxooxo.
I love that necklace! That’s my mantra when things aren’t going my way.
I experienced my older sisters divorce and it is a devastating thing for all involved.It is truly inspiring to see how you have picked up the pieces and continued on because that is what life is sometimes smooth sailing and sometimes stormy seas,faith is very important to me it helps me deal with the storms.
I have been out of town and a bit out of the loop the last few weeks but after reading everyone’s awesome comments I just had to jump over here and say THANK YOU. I truly appreciate all the support I get in this community and to know that my post helped others, even in the smallest way, made it worth just going for it and getting it out there. 🙂