I originally posted this on 1/23 but wanted to rewrite it & tell my story to help you learn to love your true self a little bit deeper, to appreciate yourself in 2014 so that you can embrace your positive character traits and nurture them, to grow into a self assured & confident entrepreneur, so you can hold your head high no matter what happens or what anyone says.
Click picture above to download the free printable png!
I had been thinking about designing this worksheet since December, after several months of being a victim of an internet bully which left me feeling small and meek. I let all of the bully’s comments & retorts slither under my skin. I let the bully make me feel inferior, like I had no right to be happy, I let the bully squish my joy right out of me.
But then one day I woke up, and I remembered. This person doesn’t know me.
The bully didn’t know that recently, every time I take packages to the post office, I stop to give food and coffee or water to a homeless person. The bully had no idea that I am kind.
The bully didn’t know that when my son was three, he rolled out of bed and broke his femur. There was six months of full body casts and surgeries. I was out of work for two months immediately following the accident, and I lost my home. They also didn’t know that not once, during that time, did I cry. I never asked “Why?”. I never worried. I just kept on keeping on. Because I am brave, strong and positive. I knew everything would work out. And it did.
The bully didn’t know that though I don’t have a diploma, I graduated from my homeschooling curriculum (the equivalent of graduating high school) when I was fourteen because I am smart.
The bully didn’t know me the way I & people who matter to me knew me, the real me. The bully didn’t know I am smart, brave, positive, inspiring, kind, strong, and creative. I love these things about myself, and no one can take them from me. And writing it down, putting it on this worksheet, filled me with a strength and courage I never knew I had.
Telling my story here, explaining why I created this worksheet and chose some of these words, is hard. But now that it’s all written I feel a lightness, like a weight I didn’t know I was carrying has been lifted. I love myself again. I harbor no ill feelings towards this bully, rather, a sadness and love, hopeful that whatever makes them feel so bitter frees them from it’s grasp soon so they can feel as peaceful and happy as I do right now. ♥
What I hope you take away from this post is this: when you recognize & nurture your positive character traits and strengths, you can only grow better as a maker and a person, facing each day peacefully, confidently self-assured, full of positive energy. Pluck out the negative character traits & habits and replace them with better ones. Always be the best version of you.
How to use this worksheet:
In each bubble, write a word that represents a positive character trait of yours that you admire, that you really love about yourself. Are you brave? Kind? Funny? Or maybe logical, thoughtful, and generous? Really dive into your heart and think about you most value about your true self.
Another idea for this worksheet:
Have your child fill out one of these worksheets every few weeks and see how their opinion of themselves change as they grow & their interests change. You can help them foster & nurture their positive character traits and weed out any self doubt or self deprecation that may arise, helping them to truly love themselves as they grow. ♥
Have you ever experienced bullying on or offline as an adult? Did it affect your self-confidence and positivity? How did you beat your bully? Join us in the comments for a friendly supportive chat!
Connect with Cody
Lu & Ed is owned and operated by monster maker Cody, who sews in a small studio from her home in Kansas City, turning textile discards into upcycled laundry and toy storage solutions for kids called Mon-stors!
This is a great post. I was recently the victim of a group of bullies through my business (to which I know them personally). It was extremely difficult, frustrating, and disheartening. But once I realized that these people were the true victims of their own bullying, I was much happier! After all, what kind of person are you to throw hate and unkindness at another person. They must have had some real challenges in their lives to be able to treat people that way. In the end, I began to feel bad for them and started to feel better about myself. I was able to show compassion towards these people who wanted only to hurt and harm me and my business.
I also learned that even though these “girls” didn’t appreciate my business and services, there are SOOO many more families who do. Though their threats at first seemed unmanageable (“I am going to tell everyone I know never to shop at your store again” type threats), I began to realize that that’s all they were – threats!
I don’t expect everyone to love me or my business, after all we are all human and I make mistakes too! I do expect though that as humans and even more so as moms that we all can show compassion and understanding towards others.
Thank you so much for sharing this story with us Nancy, especially in business if we can be more compassionate to people who sling mud at us it typically rolls right off again without hurting us too badly. It is slinging it back that usually ends nastily for everyone. Being your kind, loving, compassionate self & knowing even if they don’t shop with you other people will is your best offence. In the end the best kind of customers/clients are the ones who have no time for mean spirited talk anyway so you win all around! Here is to more compassion & understanding in the world + moms/parents lifting each other up instead of putting each other down <3
Wow, thank you for sharing your story! Isn’t it so difficult when the bullies and negative influences are in our circles? My bully was also in several of the same small business channels as I, it felt impossible to escape them without a huge explosion of negativity but I found that by simply embracing my own love for myself and ignoring each and every comment they sent my way, there was no way the bully could ever “win”. It’s difficult, but better to focus on the positive and keep sharing your joy with the world than to even devote an ounce of energy towards the negative influences in your life! Good for you for standing up to their threats and letting your own light and love for your business shine despite the negativity you had to endure. ♥ Your business can only blossom from here on out.
LOVE LOVE LOVE!!! People bully because they have major issues with themselves. You rock for not letting them win at the end of the day!
♥ Thank you for your kind words!
Every time I see your photo or name pop-up, I smile because I know what’s coming: happiness, inspiration, and so much more…
This is a beautiful response to an ugly situation. I can’t wait to use the worksheets + share them with our little bean.
Sending good juju to bullies everywhere, because they need it more than we know. <3
♥ Thank you so much for your kind words, Darice! I would love to know what 7 words your little one chooses! When I first started on this worksheet I never expected it to be such a powerful process. It is really wonderful to fall in love with what makes you YOU and these special character traits are something we should all work to help one another and our children embrace and nurture!
Just had a chat before her nap + wrote down her words. We’ll have to print the sheet + let her fill it out officially, but I wanted to share the words: silly + goofy / sometimes quiet / noisy (like a bird) / fun / crazy / playful (I like to play with my friends) / an artist / imaginative (I like to pretend + play dress-up) <3 I love that I would use many of the same words for her. (I'd add loving, curious, brave, and smart.) 🙂 Thanks for this, Cody.
What a sweet post! Thanks for taking the time to remind us that we’re special and full of potential. I love the printable too! My kids will love it.
That person is ONLY a bully, YOU ARE a great great great person!!!!!thank you for your BRAVE. It’s a very BIg example!!!!
Hi Cody – I don’t know what that person said or how/where they said it, but I’m going to guess that the unkind comments were never really about you. That person may have found you an easy target, but the ugly comments were an outpouring of ugliness from within ‘her’.
Those comments may have been directed your way, but they did not stem from who you are as a person – either personally or professionally. As emotional women we tend to take things to heart. Words can hurt but we have to find a self-nuturing strength within ourselves to turn off our sensitivities to external sources that don’t deserve our energy.
It looks like you’ve found a great way to do just that with your worksheet. It hurts my heart that someone hurt your heart! Don’t ever let anyone suck the joy out of your life. Sometimes it comes down to making a conscious decision to ignore, and sometimes it’s a darn good reason to remember how bright our little lights can shine. I’m wishing you lots of positive affirmations!
This post was so well timed. Our retail shop was just the target of what I would call a bully. A gentleman came to our store and thought he saw my partner roll her eyes at his child. He researched us and sought me out through another website I run threatening (in a 14 paragraph email) to write a negative Yelp review and let his 16k followers (in reality he has 72) know about his experience. He ended up posting a very lengthy negative review and instead of trying to hide it – we celebrated it. We posted about it on Facebook: “We’re a real business now! We got our first negative Yelp review!” Our community was very supportive and 8 people ended up writing reviews to stand up for us. The original poster took down his review within 24 hours. Pretty good. I say, if someone is bullying you — stand up and shine and light on it. They’re sure to wish they could shrink back into the darkness. It was so nice to see this post in my email this morning. Bullying sucks — but it’s nice to know that other people are struggling with the same choices and making the right decisions. Bravo!
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