Sometimes our sparkle and love for life is buried under a mountain of grief and loss. There are dark days of the soul when even if we know in our heart of hearts there will be a light, the darkness is too black to see beyond, and the weight of life too heavy to carry alone. In our darkest, loneliest hours, we need community the most: a circle of healing, gentle compassion, a reminder that no matter how scary the road is we don’t ever have to walk it all alone…
Last summer one of our contributors and my dear friend, the beautiful/witty/sarcastically sweet Nicole of Three By Sea, lost her brother tragically. Just this weekend she also lost her father to a sudden and vicious battle with cancer. This lovely woman has spent the last two+ months travelling between hospitals, long hours dealing with doctors & family, carrying the weight of her dad’s illness while trying to parent her young son and working through her own grief over loosing her brother. It is just too much for any one person to be asked to shoulder. I want us to help hold space for her, surrounding her in a circle of love and healing, so she knows she is not alone with her pain.
“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”
― Henri Nouwen, The Road to Daybreak: A Spiritual Journey
We know OMHG is a place where creative successes (big & small) are celebrated but I hope we are also somewhere that compassion can be found when life is a bitter pill to swallow. Grief can make us uncomfortable-we don’t know what to say or do so often we ignore it or try to make it ‘all better’, but the most powerful words we can share when faced with another person’s pain are simply: “I am here for you”.
Nicole, I am here for you. We are here for you. You are not alone.
In a perfect world we would all live in communities where we were supported in times of crisis or big transitions-friends dropping by with food or to throw in a load of laundry, offering to care for our children, stealing us away for a night on the town or for quiet moments of shared sadness. We don’t live in a perfect world (yet) but we can create a capsule of goodness right here, right now, for one woman who needs it. At the best of times mamas & creative entrepreneurs have difficulty making time for self-care, so let’s work together to make sure Nicole takes some time for healing and much needed self-love.
I created a separate PayPal account and set up a donation widget for us to pitch in to help Nicole get a break-maybe a spa day, a housekeeper for the month, a babysitter & a night out, or a stack of books to cuddle and cry with…whatever she needs to bring a little light to these dark days. At the end of June I will send our community gift on to Nicole. It seems like so little but it is something we can do to hopefully make this struggle a bit easier on her.
Please leave a supportive comment for Nicole on this post, send her a tweet or message on Facebook, hold her in your thoughts, help me give her space to grieve-together we can create a community that steps up to be angels for each other when we need it the most.
Thank you for visiting darkness with me and shining a light friends. I hope if you are ever in need or struggling you won’t try to carry it by yourself, after all, that is what friends are for!
